Monday, April 30, 2007

Happiness in fulfilling Times

There were moments in the aftermath of Reiko's death where it was hard envisioning being fulfilled again. Now I dance among pleasures... good friends, companionship, affection from my children... all the bounty of the earth, available within the peace and sanctity of Japan.

As I write this, I watch Claude LeLouch's classic 'Smic Smac Smoc'. How is it America never discovered Claude LeLouch?

I discovered his work as a film student, in New York City in the early seventies, and have never found much mention of his work, anywhere in the States, since. He combines a deeply philosophical romanticism with a love for the pure fun of cinema production.

Thankfully, I can still enjoy his work, on the miracle of a DVD six film collection, created by the Canadian 'imavision'. Quality and story last through time.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Petal to the Metal

My feet are feeling around for the kick start pedal on this day. Podcast distracted recently, proactive inklings dissipate quickly... need to keep plowing through. Glorious Golden Week can not be wasted by secondary objectives.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Whispering Thank You's.

The flowers abound, blessing brightly, color.
Soft sensual yet firmly wet.
Wild mental mountains of pleasure.
Glory in fifties, settling peacefully,
Hearts held in holding hands.
Soft silences
and, then,
we whisper

'thank you.'

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Flowers' Flush

sided to proceed.
Motion to breeze.
Looking toward sunny,
forward to funny...
feeling a need to Spring.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Double Take

There is more than a duplicity in all moments... more like a kaleidoscope of variables... different threads lacing simultaneously through our head. Only mass murderers and the financially successful have the luxury of simplicity... the advantage of just two worlds, private and public.

Most of us see windows appearing along every corridor, looking out on fresh horizons chuck filled with alternatives. And with this inner and outer vision comes all that damn responsibility. We know what each world will be permitted to ask. Each new demension has the right to ask for our best... full honest consciousness.

Yuck... the task of being 'full focus on' is so daunting, even when one's self-expectations are as low as mine appear to be. Oh well... we grow our own ingredients, with our daily labor, and, if there is a maturing of produce, we get a tasty stew...

Then we get to sit, stewing in our choices. It is all very simple, in its complexity. All very complete, in its infinity of options. All so life like.

Crisp Freshness of Morning

It is I who am most crisp in the morn. Morning man despite a sleepless night of videocast viewing and twisting dream-wake consciousness. The simple reading of a seven rule diet point of view, and this Bloggers multiple responses, has me reemerging today as a dieter.

The Seven Horrible Truths about Dieting and Exercise

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Keep Sake

I mentally fondle my video-cast notion of flowers... trying to determine if this is a valuable life step or just a passing fancy. Would this notion be met best as a still photo process or motion video? I have a completely unexplored micro-lens on an out-dated Olympus digital camera. Why not develop my concept around the resources I now have, and then take it from there.

Is there any audio or additional data needed? Is it visual aesthetics, some greater level of experience, or a life-style creation I am after?

While there is a wish for all three, isn't it necessary to take one step at a time? Begin by amassing images. Find if I really have content worthy of publishing, and begin from there, concerning whether I am talking about video-podcasting or RSS blog photo feeding.

At present, I am mashing all in my head, and all these various forms of expression have their own distinct characteristics.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Waking Early

I achieved delightful moments waking early on a Wednesday. Water my plants, listening to many podcasts, making breakfast, sporadic cleaning... My mind dances around and around this notion of video podcasting. Technical perspectives, philosophical points of view, life style choices... a major puzzle moving to some choices.

Will this all dissipate or come to a deeper understanding? Death and other examples of brutal finality darken all my thoughts... that and the endless quagmire of classroom realities. Thank God I am blessed with a workable life style... a relieving pace of space and time optimized for moderation. I must keep working to perfect my presence in the most troubling classes while preserving my quality of performance across the board.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

The Pleasures of Spring

Added red lily bulb seedlings to my planters yesterday on my return from Costco. Flowers have expanded in this life, a curious parallel with so many other old people. Is this some biological phenomena in which old people reach toward the earth for pragmatic pleasures?

Friday, April 13, 2007

Glorious Spring to Image-maker

The 'guerilla camera' choice verses a larger more professional level camera, has me again focusing on Canon's HV10, which crosses the advantage of High Density videography with light weight portability. A friend on campus talked about how he does not bring his large camera to events because it is just too big. Since one aspect of my video ambitions is productivity, in an already busy life style, it stands to reason I go small.

My Nikon Coolpix E100 has been a disaster, having been already to the repair shop and again not working. The handling is awkward, the on and off switch unclear, and so the battery life unpredictable. With the Canon HV10 I will have a 3.1 million pixel image, comparable to my present resolution and adequate for my purposes, which are web based.

Mobile camera phones are another positive possibility though at present they do not have the quality and control I would like to experiment with. But, in time, I hope to experiment more with this 'keitai' medium in the near future. I suspect I will also move up in technology, tempted by the semipro-models of Canon XHG1 and XH A1, or even the pro level XL H1. But first I need to prove the feasibility of my producing a consistent product while maintaining my present lifestyle.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Changing of the Guard

The Don Inus rude joking at the expense of the Rutger's basketball team highlights the difference in values between the world I was brought up in and the evolutionary forces in the collective conscious. My family is ripe with bigoted language and humor and I hear it too in my own usage despite my desire to evolve. Growth is a painful process that cuts away at improvisational velocity. It is more fun to fall back on old standby Schlock humor than to evolve to the next level of oral awareness. Yet I truly do want to speak my truth... not the historical truth of previous ignorance but a transformational expression of what I have come to believe is right.

In me is a greater self and this is what I aspire to. No need to play the old worn out tunes of racist and sexist ignorance.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007


I am psyched at this crazy idea of flower photography... adding a flower a day to my blog entries. It makes no sense except that I am into flowers these days and spend time everyday grooming my flower gardens and potted plants, along with my several room display flower arrangements.

Classes are going well despite the usual ruffled feathers as I roll in both barrels blazing. There is an honesty and sincerity in my style that will eventually cause unwanted confrontations, yet what real choice do I have? I listen carefully to each critique or complaint or subliminal message and try my best to factor in the input... but I also know in cross cultural interaction there is always the possibility I will need to fold in any one hand.

I love what I do, but I do it with such an intensity that it drains me completely. Maintaining a balance, pacing my driving in my car, in the classroom, and in my social interactions is essential... graceful multitasking... a 'Grace' race. Feeling from the other's perspective while in the dance of it.

Already on Cue, babbling distractions...

Multitasking is synonymous with raising a family, particularly while working a career as a university teacher, at several different scattered schools throughout the week. Being a single dad only accents the challenge and demands the skill.

Nutritional eating and routine exercise can be integrated into this life style. Not only is this possible, symptoms suggest... it is essential. Multitasking is an art of priorities, merging the task of saying 'NO' to lazy default habits with the proactive solution of saying 'YES' to healthy life alternatives.

Make it a conscious awareness... but step it up, from guilt creating reaction, to verification. Verify any truths inherent in replenishing the biological soul. Find out why healthy well-balanced individuals are happier by emulating their routines.

Get well.

Monday, April 9, 2007

The Success I am Having

There is a paradise I live. I teach my first classes of the semester and for lunch meet a friend. We eat well... there is always Ramen here in Kyoto. We walk in the woods... there is always a beautiful flower laden path in Kyoto. We return to my room... my special place at home in the hills above Kyoto. A place where love making comes naturally. A palace in the hill of dreams.

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Time is of the Essence

On, a 'Bird Flu Influenza's coming epidemic' podcast burnt a hole in my heart. It is coming and there is very little (actually next to nothing) we can do about it. This slants all my activities toward absolute trivia. But I do not want a nihilistic stance to be my flag. So I ended up looking at video cameras and buying a 500GB hard drive.

All of us podcasters want to be loved, to feel important, to make a living having fun... few will make it over the hump. But I want to try anyway. But about the influenza epidemic... now that is nihilistic provocation.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

The Miraculous Monster of Self

Am I getting well? The pleasure palace of my home has been tormented by idiosyncratic pain about the head. Fluctuating between a guerrilla style camera, pocket size, or one set to the upper end aesthetic of High Definition, I am steps away from proactive shooting. How tormented my decision has been languishing in memory of the ten year diabolic hole of filming 'The Abortion' my first and last full length feature. I do not want to go there yet I do want to approach motion image again from a fresher perspective... Videocasting... Vlogging... Video Blogging... Video Podcasting.

Frontier demanding qualities of content and image. Flow bolstered with drama. Impact... informative... Entertainment with personal relevance to both producer and audience.

Gotta love it... if I can just get over the early hurdles of sticking out my face and risking... truth.

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

New Ruby Sheets for my Luxurious Queen Bed

The sun appears after an evening blasted with a yellow full moon through my western windows. I will walk today, away from my video-podcasting mania, and that subtle anxiety prior to new classes. I will walk into the arms of good health, of friendship, and genuine affection. I will walk into deserved joyful meals, and needed sleep.

I do not sleep well here in Paradise. Is it the moon, a life of jaw clenching trauma, or sins un-repented?

Sunday, April 1, 2007

The Miracle is Always so Precarious

In the luxury of time, to do 'my own thing', is the sickness Buddha warned me of. In the quiet paradise of good children, a beautiful home, and unbounded prosperity is the binding of fear... Of street wise experience... hard nosed memories of brittle moments crumbling around my feet.

I want to move toward physical manifestation... magnificent moments created in digital subtlety of color and light... Blended stories humorously woven in depth of character and solid insight.

Would an Intel Mac, Canon camcord, Firefox, and massive storage be the christening of a sail ship... allowing me endless island voyages with bellowing canvas and sunny skies... or will I sink with the weight of a battleship, an admiral unwilling to face the new tactical efficiency of terrorists?

Do I think too heavy, when I think High Density, or am I allowing for a bolster of fire power, added ammo against the bastille of my normalcy? Spell check permits me to write well enough to be understood... perhaps today's digital technology will help me find the visual voice I surrendered when I left New York.

To allow that flow again could be transformational.