Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Full Moon at 3:45am

I am wakened by impulse... I feel concern for my loved ones... the circling band of feminine affectionate, who populate my life, call me into confusion. A big full brooding moon peers through my window. Thankfully, peace reigns on this mountain and I can collect my thoughts, in these wee hours.

I have a need to follow through on romantic opportunities, despite the whirlwind down-drafts and disturbing chills. There is a greater urge within the tenderness of concern, the folds of skin, the scented seclusions of intimacy.

Breath deeply, relax my jaw, and understand that it is a greater death done with love. Compassion calls at times for aloneness and distance. That may be what is needed now, yet the pendulum will weigh in again... bringing with it the deeper rooted truths we each bare and care so dearly to share.

I will hear their voices, their accolades of love and their brutal analysis of my vices. Their truth with melt around me, as the pains of a new spring reveal the scents hidden by winter snow, on the tundra of a billion defecations. Honesty has its price.

Yet in the end, after the methane has dissipated upward and cleared the air, there will be flower blossom from ancient fruits, consumed in exuberant passion. This truth telling will some how make sense... And we will again wear garlands around our crown and rub our lips together.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Silent Sweetness

Stepping back, allowing the wave of space and prosperity... the sweet advantage of employment, home, and health. Collecting my thoughts and neatly spacing them out on the table of reality. Today is cool, as autumn re-enlists for another cyclical adventure.

For school teachers it is back to school. That swirling hubbub of chaotic repetitiveness and speculative planning. In the back yards of love come new opportunities to understand where we stand, who we might be, and where this might relate to other passing ships.

I have a notion to implement a YouTube lesson plan. One in which we create five minute shorts, collecting the opinion of young Japanese on diverse provocative topics. Attempting to communicate individual truths, to the collective consciousness of a world audience, could be both fun and a productive language learning experience for my students.

Right now this is just a seed of an idea, but I hope to test the waters in class this week. We shall see. It may be fun and constructive, or, like so many of my 'brilliancies', fade on the way side of deflated and obsolete lesson plans. At least it is best to try...

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Complete first movie in 25 years

A bit shaken and sore... the familiar pattern of exhilaration and focus, around the clock inspiration, and the follow through with the realities of distribution and futility. Yet, in the mix was an increase of learning, as I brought relevance into my research (all the books, magazines, and podcasts I have been studying this last year or so).

Futility is a flaw in self-perception; the swing vote of impotence verses gradual growth. That which distinguishes preservation of a process from the quelling of individual proaction as too risky, in other words, choosing a creative process that will be self-sustaining. Without an economic incentive, most hobbyist fade away.

My goal is to create a podcast business plan which is not economically motivated yet still has longevity, true sticking power... self fertilizing and personally fulfilling.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

The Canon HV20 was Purchased

A good camera, and now I flounder, afraid to take the first step... patterned procrastination. Post-procrastination: when I create an edge. Yet why is this necessary when the past reveals all truths to my methodology? Hiding in creature comforts makes for a palatable self-contempt. Set up a mechanism for success.

I use a better older tripod than the free one I received on purchase of the camera. This feels more stable. I find the remote control very handy and discover the mike plugged in cuts the internal mike. Need to read the instruction book more carefully. I notice that reading the book without hands on attempts is fruitless (the book will put me to sleep) but once I have gotten into the process of actually using the camera the manual becomes readable.

I am reluctant to get into the water, but, once in, I love to swim!